JClearwater
Wooden Canoes are in the Blood
Before anyone considers buying an old wood canoe with the intent of restoring it the following questions should be put to the person to determine if he/she is a qualified candidate.
1. Are you ready to love this canoe, unconditionally, forsaking all others?
2. Do you realize that you will have to acquire an understanding of many things nautical including wood species, paint and varnish formulations, boat terminology and paddling styles?
3. If you already know about boats are you willing to learn a whole new vocabulary?
4. Do you know a nearby boat professional to salvage your mistakes?
5. Are you willing to get dirty? All over? In your eyes, hair, skin, clothing, etc.?
6. Do you bleed easily?
7. Do you own a fire extinguisher?
8. Do you realize that you will spend more money on this canoe than you can sell it for?
9. Even if you own tools are you willing to purchase more?
10. Do you possess a large vocabulary of four letter words?
11. Do you know how to use them correctly?
12. Do you own another more practical canoe?
13. Do you think that purchasing a junk wood boat is a practical decision?
14. Are you willing to park your $30,000 car outside in the weather while your garage is full of junk boats that don’t float?
15. Do you have a problem with your garage floor covered with sawdust, scrap wood, tacks, paint puddles, varnish drips and blood?
16. Do you think “A little rot” is OK?
17. Do you think “A lot of rot” is still OK?
18. Can you recognize “A lot of rot”?
19. Does seeing daylight through the bottom of your canoe bother you?
20. Do you worry or care what your neighbors think?
21. Do you worry that people will ask you how you’re feeling when they see your forehead bead up in sweat and your palms itch at the mention of an old canoe for sale?
22. Are you worried that people might think that your relationship to this boat is unnatural?
23. Are you taking any medication?
24. Is your spouse or significant other a wood canoe lover? If yes stop here. If not continue to #25.
25. If he/she is not a wood canoe lover - Are you familiar with the process for divorce or separation in your state?
Good luck to all
Jim C.
1. Are you ready to love this canoe, unconditionally, forsaking all others?
2. Do you realize that you will have to acquire an understanding of many things nautical including wood species, paint and varnish formulations, boat terminology and paddling styles?
3. If you already know about boats are you willing to learn a whole new vocabulary?
4. Do you know a nearby boat professional to salvage your mistakes?
5. Are you willing to get dirty? All over? In your eyes, hair, skin, clothing, etc.?
6. Do you bleed easily?
7. Do you own a fire extinguisher?
8. Do you realize that you will spend more money on this canoe than you can sell it for?
9. Even if you own tools are you willing to purchase more?
10. Do you possess a large vocabulary of four letter words?
11. Do you know how to use them correctly?
12. Do you own another more practical canoe?
13. Do you think that purchasing a junk wood boat is a practical decision?
14. Are you willing to park your $30,000 car outside in the weather while your garage is full of junk boats that don’t float?
15. Do you have a problem with your garage floor covered with sawdust, scrap wood, tacks, paint puddles, varnish drips and blood?
16. Do you think “A little rot” is OK?
17. Do you think “A lot of rot” is still OK?
18. Can you recognize “A lot of rot”?
19. Does seeing daylight through the bottom of your canoe bother you?
20. Do you worry or care what your neighbors think?
21. Do you worry that people will ask you how you’re feeling when they see your forehead bead up in sweat and your palms itch at the mention of an old canoe for sale?
22. Are you worried that people might think that your relationship to this boat is unnatural?
23. Are you taking any medication?
24. Is your spouse or significant other a wood canoe lover? If yes stop here. If not continue to #25.
25. If he/she is not a wood canoe lover - Are you familiar with the process for divorce or separation in your state?
Good luck to all
Jim C.
